Hardened Criminal

This morning I woke up at 10 and ate breakfast. Then I came upstairs and went back to sleep. Then Amelia, my darling roommate whom I adore, woke me up by hitting me with pillows at 1. I sat up and studied German for 45 minutes. Then I fell asleep. I woke up at 2:!5. I put on a shirt, left my nike running shorts on, threw my German stuff and computer in my bag and ran out the door.

I got on the bus and rode down to the S-bahn station. I got off and walked up the stairs. I stood on the platform waiting for my 14.33 train. My mind was wandering around. More of grazing really. Thinking thoughts I can't remember. Then, my mind thought the thought "You don't have your wallet". I realized my mind was right. I didn't have my wallet. Which is a huge deal because it meant I didn't have my public transport pass. Or money to pay the 65 Euro fine. Crap.

But I had to get to school. Normally I would just skip German. My dedication to that class does not include paying fines to get there. But I had to give my presentation AND take a quiz. So, like 20% of my grade was riding on this class.

My train whoosed up with the wind it makes. It is so hot here and the wind felt good. I opened the door and found a seat. I considered sitting in the bathroom the whole ride. No inspector would find me there. But it smells so bad, and I would probably miss my train. The real reason I didn't do that was that if the ticket inspector realized I was in there I would be cornered. So I found a seat and sat down. It is a 15 minute train ride to Sudbahnof where I catch the U1 to school. It was an intense 15 minutes. I kept searching for the ticket inspector that would inevitably come. I had an escape plan. The second I saw them I would casually but swiftly walk down the isle, to the bathroom for a moment, and into the car from which they had just come. If I couldn't escape them, I had another plan. I would rummage in my bag and then looked shocked and say "someone has stolen my wallet!" The train rolled into Sudbahnof and I literally jumped off. Safe.

I walked down to the U-bahn platform. U-bahns make me uncomfortable. I don't like being underground. Anyway, my subway came whoosing up. I got in the most crowded car I could and stood there. Longest 4 minutes of my life. I was claustrophobic, could hardly breathe, and was stressing about an inspector coming.

I got off the subway and I felt so relieved. I hurried up to German class. It was an average German class. I skyped my friend. Then I had to go home for dinner.

I made it through the U-bahn uneventfully. The first 10 minutes of the S-bahn ride were also uneventful. I'd done this before. I was becoming a practiced criminal. I put my leg up on the empty seat across from me. A relaxed position of authority. Plus my feet don't touch the ground flat-footed so it is more comfortable to just put them up.

I was looking out the window, my mind grazing again. Then there was a man in front of me. He made a motion like he was sweeping my feet of the chair. I put them down. He sat down. A few seconds later, his friend sat next to him. Markus's words during orientation echoed through my head, "the ticket-inspectors are men. They are dressed normally and travel in pairs. They will wait until you are well between stops to ask for your ticket so you can't run away." These two men fit the profile perfectly. My blood pressure rose. Crap. What am I going to say? He already doesn't like me for having my feet on the seat. I was so anxious. When are they going to ask for tickets? Why are they waiting so long? Are they going to ask me first? Maybe they will just skip me. My thoughts ran on for several minutes.

Then, the train started to slow. I looked out the window. I saw the familiar house right before my stop. That platform was safety. I stood up and walked to the door. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. The train stopped. I tried to open the door. It didn't open. the two men sitting across from me were also standing up, talking to a woman across the aisle from us. Open damned doors. Open. I saw the woman reach into her purse for something. She handed it to the men. Why is the door not opening? They nodded and handed whatever it was pack to her. They moved onto the next person. Just then, the door opened. I leaped over the two steps of the train and onto the platform. Safety. I felt like a refugee. I stood and watched as the train drove off, sticking my tongue out in a sneer of victory.